I have left UiTM Sungai Petani for approximately two weeks. I am done with the Foundation of Law, as I told in previous post where I dedicated a few words for each of my classmates. Spontaneous and impulsive decision, it was. The decision to put the compilation of feelings I felt at the time into words. The moment my family fetched me from college, to go back to home sweet home, I knew meeting them again would be another hardest thing for my financial drawbacks would never cease. Out of all goodbye sayings I received, the one I found most relevant and applicable was, “See you when I see you.”
The words of a friend of mine indicated how unsure we both were. Hesitant about the time we would meet again. Of course, the world is small. We could meet by chance of bumping into each other if we ever loafed at Midvalley, Lot 10, One Utama or anywhere around KL as we are Selangorians. Yet, to even have my feet step in Bandar Klang – my hometown – costs me more than a buck. Yes, more than a buck. With an empty bank account, the long to gather even for a moment seems to be dragged off beyond the possibility.
My closest roommate once said, when were busy packing up out stuffs to leave the college we had been in for three semesters long, the reason she did not want to be so close to me or others was she was well-aware that friends were meant to come and go. She had admitted that she doubted we would still be in contact ten years from now. She was even doubtful that we would contact during the holiday! I would bet that if others were in my shoes, they would typically reply, “Of course we will! I promise you! You’re my best friend.”
That is what people in general love to do. Promise something that they themselves are not sure about.
When she said all those words, I had stared at her straight in the eyes. Yes, I had. I knew she was hiding something. She held back her tears. She did not tell me something that she knew, would take me aback. A thought emerged from nowhere on my mind. A thought that she would be moving away to a place I could not come and visit for reasons that were so many that my fingers could get numbed to list. For the umpteenth time, after so long, I happened to be at a loss of words.
I had no idea what to utter in reply so I just shut my mouth, wishing I could shut my ears earlier so I did not have to hear all those words. She is my only friend who has been in a foreign country, living there for years as well as getting to experience forming a snowman and being cold for 24/7 that you would have liked it to be cuddled forever. Some time ago, I had asked her if she wished to go back to the foreign country she once lived in for eight years and she did not say ‘yes’ direct to my face. She gave me the answer that implied she could not have been happier if she were ‘there’ at the time.
“I have missed my best friends there.”
I know you have. I remember seeing your face light up after receiving telephone calls from your friends over there. I remember how excitedly you told me what you and your friends had talked about that I had failed to find a space within your words to put across my shared joy. I wonder if you would be as excited as you were if I called you during our holidays.
I never meant to cut off your bliss. It slipped off my mouth without me being able to seize it, throw back into my throat and swallow it down, deep in dumps. I thought I would apologize but then, the devilish side of me told me to let you to be hurt, as painful as I was when you dared to give me a stoned face to my question, which was full of hope.
“Am I your best friend too?”
Do not bother to answer if the answer is no. Just keep it to yourself or you would be a murderer otherwise.
The words of a friend of mine indicated how unsure we both were. Hesitant about the time we would meet again. Of course, the world is small. We could meet by chance of bumping into each other if we ever loafed at Midvalley, Lot 10, One Utama or anywhere around KL as we are Selangorians. Yet, to even have my feet step in Bandar Klang – my hometown – costs me more than a buck. Yes, more than a buck. With an empty bank account, the long to gather even for a moment seems to be dragged off beyond the possibility.
My closest roommate once said, when were busy packing up out stuffs to leave the college we had been in for three semesters long, the reason she did not want to be so close to me or others was she was well-aware that friends were meant to come and go. She had admitted that she doubted we would still be in contact ten years from now. She was even doubtful that we would contact during the holiday! I would bet that if others were in my shoes, they would typically reply, “Of course we will! I promise you! You’re my best friend.”
That is what people in general love to do. Promise something that they themselves are not sure about.
When she said all those words, I had stared at her straight in the eyes. Yes, I had. I knew she was hiding something. She held back her tears. She did not tell me something that she knew, would take me aback. A thought emerged from nowhere on my mind. A thought that she would be moving away to a place I could not come and visit for reasons that were so many that my fingers could get numbed to list. For the umpteenth time, after so long, I happened to be at a loss of words.
I had no idea what to utter in reply so I just shut my mouth, wishing I could shut my ears earlier so I did not have to hear all those words. She is my only friend who has been in a foreign country, living there for years as well as getting to experience forming a snowman and being cold for 24/7 that you would have liked it to be cuddled forever. Some time ago, I had asked her if she wished to go back to the foreign country she once lived in for eight years and she did not say ‘yes’ direct to my face. She gave me the answer that implied she could not have been happier if she were ‘there’ at the time.
“I have missed my best friends there.”
I know you have. I remember seeing your face light up after receiving telephone calls from your friends over there. I remember how excitedly you told me what you and your friends had talked about that I had failed to find a space within your words to put across my shared joy. I wonder if you would be as excited as you were if I called you during our holidays.
I never meant to cut off your bliss. It slipped off my mouth without me being able to seize it, throw back into my throat and swallow it down, deep in dumps. I thought I would apologize but then, the devilish side of me told me to let you to be hurt, as painful as I was when you dared to give me a stoned face to my question, which was full of hope.
“Am I your best friend too?”
Do not bother to answer if the answer is no. Just keep it to yourself or you would be a murderer otherwise.
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