At a snail's pace, I opened my heavy eyelids. The air felt so fresh making me feel so clean on the early morning when the sun had not set yet. Grateful, I really was for being given another chance to see the world for another day and hopefully, days afterward. Seeing such beautiful world for a day was never enough and never would. It would take the entire life to feel satisfied, I’d bet.
A Korean song entitled What I Should Do abruptly rang. My heart felt like being struck by a thunder. It was shocking, indeed! Afraid of the noise would disturb the others, who were still slumbering, I swiftly turned off the alarmed clock.
It had been that way since day one. Day one of the second semester. The roommates could see the idle Khaleeqa no more. There was no more Khaleeqa who used to wake up late. There was no more Khaleeqa who used to be yelled at to wake her up. There was no more Khaleeqa who used to get her roommates’ nerves on every time it was the time to wake her up.
I wondered if they missed their old Khaleeqa.
Thinking of the classes that I would attend for the day made me feel intrigued and excited into the bargain. The classes were not the combined ones which meant there would be no strangers. Instead, I would be seeing merely my classmates. It was indeed the time that I had been waiting since I could remember. Combined classes were never cool and effective for learning.
Suddenly his name came across my mind. Had he awoken by now? Was he waiting for me like me waiting for him every matter of time? I did not want to know the answers. Some things were just meant to be left unsaid and unanswered. Why would I wreck my fresh day with hurting answers for silly questions?
The time I reached in front of a still-locked class, he whom I meant was not there yet. I refused not to put high hopes on seeing him coming today. Based on the experience in the previous semester, I was always hurt with putting such hopes. I did not mean he was disappointing. I just believed that he had his own reasons for skipping classes on the days I’d hoped to see him.
I leaned my back to the wall facing the entrance of Court Yard – a block of classes. The sun was indeed very scorching. I could feel my heart started to boil slowly. I was afraid the blistering sun was not the reason why. My heart seemed to palpitate abnormally. Was I getting mad because of the hot sun or something? I pat my chest several times – such a silly way to soothe.
Out of the blue, my eyes caught a lad wearing black with red inner walking toward a bulk of guys who were undoubtedly my dearest classmates. For umpteenth times, I saw his hand stroke his front hair causing it to shape like the crowning of Everest. It was gorgeous and eye-catching, though. Even if he did not draw his hair that way, it was not hard to recognize him. Even if he was surrounded by thousands of typical people of the same gender and normalcy, it still was not hard to spot him. In fact, he was the one you were going to see first in the crowd.
I felt chilly in the bottom of my heart. The iciness slowly conquered the whole heart of mine. Seeing him smiling the way he was doing that time was so heart-warming. I’d bet it could melt each girl’s heart in this world. Only God knew how I wished I was the reason why he smiled that enjoyably each day of his life time. Only God knew how I wished he would smile like that to me!
The fresh air I felt right after I woke up that morning and along the way to the class as well as before the attention-grabbing boy showed himself up, lost to nowhere to be found. I tried to grasp it but it led to no avail. On the spur of the moment, tear filled the eyes just like the rain filled the hole of cracked road. The world seemed to be idle for a moment when our eyes were locked and each thing, be it living thing of non-living one stopped moving all of a sudden. The ones alive were only me and him.
The moment he caught me staring at him, I was breathless.
Everything was back to normal as fast as his smile cooled my boiling heart down. The moment was indeed sense-racking. I thought I would turn away the moment he caught me staring at him, but I never knew he could turn me into a statue even for awhile.
My favorite guy was so miraculous!
Desiring him was not the reason I answered ‘yes’ when I was asked by a lecturer of ours whether or not he was efficient when he held the responsibility of juggling a school of people before, though. Annotating the word ‘very’ with poise afterward was also not caused by the feeling of adoring him. It came from the bottom of my heart, no doubt.
Liking him the way I did and still do is more than enough. I do not need to be his. I do not need a declared relationship. I do not need to be liked in return by him. All I need is everybody to shut their mouth up and let me secretly keep this feeling till only-God-knows when and perhaps till the end of the world.
A Korean song entitled What I Should Do abruptly rang. My heart felt like being struck by a thunder. It was shocking, indeed! Afraid of the noise would disturb the others, who were still slumbering, I swiftly turned off the alarmed clock.
It had been that way since day one. Day one of the second semester. The roommates could see the idle Khaleeqa no more. There was no more Khaleeqa who used to wake up late. There was no more Khaleeqa who used to be yelled at to wake her up. There was no more Khaleeqa who used to get her roommates’ nerves on every time it was the time to wake her up.
I wondered if they missed their old Khaleeqa.
Thinking of the classes that I would attend for the day made me feel intrigued and excited into the bargain. The classes were not the combined ones which meant there would be no strangers. Instead, I would be seeing merely my classmates. It was indeed the time that I had been waiting since I could remember. Combined classes were never cool and effective for learning.
Suddenly his name came across my mind. Had he awoken by now? Was he waiting for me like me waiting for him every matter of time? I did not want to know the answers. Some things were just meant to be left unsaid and unanswered. Why would I wreck my fresh day with hurting answers for silly questions?
The time I reached in front of a still-locked class, he whom I meant was not there yet. I refused not to put high hopes on seeing him coming today. Based on the experience in the previous semester, I was always hurt with putting such hopes. I did not mean he was disappointing. I just believed that he had his own reasons for skipping classes on the days I’d hoped to see him.
I leaned my back to the wall facing the entrance of Court Yard – a block of classes. The sun was indeed very scorching. I could feel my heart started to boil slowly. I was afraid the blistering sun was not the reason why. My heart seemed to palpitate abnormally. Was I getting mad because of the hot sun or something? I pat my chest several times – such a silly way to soothe.
Out of the blue, my eyes caught a lad wearing black with red inner walking toward a bulk of guys who were undoubtedly my dearest classmates. For umpteenth times, I saw his hand stroke his front hair causing it to shape like the crowning of Everest. It was gorgeous and eye-catching, though. Even if he did not draw his hair that way, it was not hard to recognize him. Even if he was surrounded by thousands of typical people of the same gender and normalcy, it still was not hard to spot him. In fact, he was the one you were going to see first in the crowd.
I felt chilly in the bottom of my heart. The iciness slowly conquered the whole heart of mine. Seeing him smiling the way he was doing that time was so heart-warming. I’d bet it could melt each girl’s heart in this world. Only God knew how I wished I was the reason why he smiled that enjoyably each day of his life time. Only God knew how I wished he would smile like that to me!
The fresh air I felt right after I woke up that morning and along the way to the class as well as before the attention-grabbing boy showed himself up, lost to nowhere to be found. I tried to grasp it but it led to no avail. On the spur of the moment, tear filled the eyes just like the rain filled the hole of cracked road. The world seemed to be idle for a moment when our eyes were locked and each thing, be it living thing of non-living one stopped moving all of a sudden. The ones alive were only me and him.
The moment he caught me staring at him, I was breathless.
Everything was back to normal as fast as his smile cooled my boiling heart down. The moment was indeed sense-racking. I thought I would turn away the moment he caught me staring at him, but I never knew he could turn me into a statue even for awhile.
My favorite guy was so miraculous!
Desiring him was not the reason I answered ‘yes’ when I was asked by a lecturer of ours whether or not he was efficient when he held the responsibility of juggling a school of people before, though. Annotating the word ‘very’ with poise afterward was also not caused by the feeling of adoring him. It came from the bottom of my heart, no doubt.
Liking him the way I did and still do is more than enough. I do not need to be his. I do not need a declared relationship. I do not need to be liked in return by him. All I need is everybody to shut their mouth up and let me secretly keep this feeling till only-God-knows when and perhaps till the end of the world.
“Who was your previous leader?”
“The oddest one you see in this class, miss.”
“Him? Wow. Was he efficient?”
“Yes.”
A long, meaningful pause.
“Very," I added.
“Very?”
A small yet meaningful smile drawn on both faces, the student’s and lecturer’s.
“Very," I added.
“Very?”
A small yet meaningful smile drawn on both faces, the student’s and lecturer’s.
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